Middle name: Michael

Strangest life curve: Falling for a west coast girl

Makes you cringe: Twenty-something starlets

Most laudable trait: I can swing a hammer

Irrational fear: That the idiots will take over

An accomplished bucket list item: Rowing in the Head of the Charles

Childhood hero: Norman  Barnes

Dinner party schtick: Making fun of Derek

Musical kryptonite: Kenny G

Dyed in the wool or daring: Performing